10 Noel Gallagher Quotes that Rule Our School
As Noel Gallagher turns 48 today, many will celebrate the tremendous wealth of material the 
driving force of Oasis has given us throughout the years. But, Riffyou.com loves a great quote as much as the next guy, so we wanted to highlight 10 of our favourite Noel Gallagher zingers.
Gallagher on…Kanye West blasting Beck’s 2015 Grammy Win for Album of the Year:
“I’m aware of our mate Kanye being a bit of a buffoon at [an award show], yeah. Didn’t he say Beck should ‘respect artistry’ and pass the award on to Beyoncé? Well, No. 1, somebody should buy that boy a dictionary. And he needs to look up the fucking term ‘artistry’ and then see if it reminds him, in any way, of Beyoncé. If shaking your ass for a living is considered art, then she’s right up there, no? Can I also point out: Beck can play the banjo. The banjo. That makes him a genius.”
-Stereogum, 2015.
Gallagher on…His guitar playing skills:
“I’m average at fucking best.”
–Total Guitar, 2009.
Gallagher on…Reuniting Oasis:
“I was in the newsagent the other day when the story broke and the Daily Star said, ‘Oasis to get back together for £500 million’, which is half a billion. I’d do it for half a billion anything: Yorkshire Tea bags, condoms, Pot Noodles.”
–Talksport, 2014.
Gallagher on…Life as a touring musician:
“Got thrown out of a taxi this morning. At least I think I did. Hard to tell over here. There was shouting and pointing and then the international hand signal for ‘Get the fuck out of my cab, you western dog!’”
–Myspace, 2009.
Gallagher on…His own funeral:
“I’m not really bothered ’cause I won’t be there. I don’t give a shit.”
–Melody Maker, 1998.
Gallagher on…Doing lots of drugs:
“If there were gold medals for taking drugs for England I would have won a shitload.”
-Parkinson, 2006.
Gallagher on…TIDAL:
“I thought that the people on the stage might want to be a little bit aware that they don’t look like Jay Z’s minions. Madonna was pretty cool the way she cocked her leg up on that desk and signed the [declaration]. I think ultimately with the spiel they came out with, it was like, ‘Do these people think they’re the fuckin’ Avengers? They’re going to save the fuckin’ [world].’ I was speaking to Chris [Martin] the day after, and I said, ‘Are you after a Nobel Peace Prize? Is that what you’re after?’ They were like, ‘We’re going to fuckin’ save the music business.’ And I’m just sitting there, thinking [imitates smoking weed] you might want to write a decent chorus for a fuckin’ start. Never mind fuckin’ royalties and the ‘power of music.’ Write a tune. Fuckin’ start with that.”
-Rolling Stone, 2015.
Gallagher on…His music being downloaded for free:
“I’m not giving my records away for free. If nobody fuckin’ buys them then… They’re not going out for free.”
–The Clash, 2008.
Gallagher on…Liam:
“He’s rude, arrogant, intimidating and lazy. He’s the angriest man you’ll ever meet. He’s like a man with a fork in a world of soup.”
–Q, 2009.
Gallagher on…Getting jumped by a fan while performing at Virgin Festival 2008 in Toronto:
“We’re not going to become one of these American bands with more security guards than musicians on stage, we don’t go in for that Madonna shit. We’ve got enough security guards as it is. If they’d been doing their fucking job properly instead of playing air guitar I’d be alright.”
-Australia Herald Sun, 2008.
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